just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize