She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
