you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
