speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I understand Curling. That high.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
