I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
