Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
