I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
