I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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