We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need moral support for this bender
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
