I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
