just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
