Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
