I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
