I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
