I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
