I faked an abortion last night.
I think I am morally bankrupt
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize