Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
