I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
