No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
