dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
