the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
