In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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