I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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