i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
