Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
