my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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