she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
