Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
