WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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