the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
