She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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