So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
