if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The uberlube is also flammable
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize