that's an acceptable place to lick
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
