imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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