i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
