Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
