I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
