She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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