how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just want to make out with him forever
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
