Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize