"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
