Hey man sorry I got all grabby
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
