its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize