I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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