I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
