it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
