I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
