Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
