Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
