Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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