Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
