he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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