Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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