who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
