Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
