i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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