Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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