Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
