who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
