I just cut my nipple shaving
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
