it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My ass is underappreciated
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize