I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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