so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
