The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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