I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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