if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
