I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
