What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
