There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She bit a glass in half.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize