Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
