Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize