Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
