theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
