Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
