16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
