Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I party with great urgency now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
