News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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